The Difference Between Self-Care and Being Selfish: A Heart-to-Heart

We’ve all been there—feeling like there’s never enough time to take care of everyone else, let alone ourselves. Whether it’s kids, work, relationships, or just the endless to-do list, the pressure to be everything for everyone can feel overwhelming, but what about you? Where does taking care of yourself fit into all of that?

I’ve had so many conversations with women just like you who wrestle with this idea: What if I told you that it’s not selfish at all—but necessary?

Self-Care vs. Selfishness

Self-care and selfishness can feel similar because they both focus on yourself, but the heart behind them is completely different.

Selfishness is when we act with disregard for others, seeking our own gain at the expense of the people around us. It’s putting ourselves first in a way that causes harm or neglect to others. It’s the "me, me, me" mentality that turns relationships into transactions.

Self-care, on the other hand, is about filling your own cup so you can pour into others. It's taking the time to nurture your body, mind, and spirit—not because you want to shut others out, but because you know that you’re better for them when you’re better for yourself. When you take care of yourself, you’re able to show up with more energy, love, and grace for the people in your life.

Think about the scripture that says, "Love your neighbor as yourself" (Mark 12:31). Notice it says “as yourself.” You can’t truly love others well if you’re running on empty.

Questions to Ponder:

  • Are you neglecting your own needs to meet everyone else’s? Sometimes we wear our sacrifices as badges of honor, but what happens when we give out of an empty place?

  • Do you feel guilty when you take time for yourself? It’s so easy to feel guilty, but why? What story have we been told about what it means to be a "good" woman, mother, or wife? And is it true?

  • How does caring for yourself make you feel about the roles you play? Imagine showing up in your life rested, full of energy, and at peace. Would that change how you approach your relationships and responsibilities?

Honor Your Body and Spirit

Our bodies are incredible. We are created with such care, and I truly believe that caring for our physical health is a way to honor the gift we’ve been given. Taking time to move, eat well, and rest isn’t just about looking a certain way; it’s about respecting the vessel that allows us to live and love fully.

Think of it this way—when we’re rundown and exhausted, it affects everything. We’re shorter with our kids, less patient with our partners, and we end up resenting the very people we love the most. But when we prioritize self-care, it’s an act of love. You’re not just doing it for you—you’re doing it for them too.

Embrace Self-Care as Part of Your Calling

When we shift our mindset from seeing self-care as indulgence to seeing it as essential, everything changes. We can release the guilt and start seeing it as an investment—not only in ourselves but in the people we serve.

The time you spend taking care of your body, nourishing your mind, and tending to your spirit is not wasted. In fact, it’s what allows you to show up fully for the people and the purpose you’re called to. So, next time you’re debating whether to take that walk, spend time in quiet prayer, or just enjoy a hot bath, remember—it’s not selfish. It’s honoring yourself, and in doing so, you honor everyone you love.

A Final Thought

You’re worth the time. You’re worth the care. You’re worth showing up for yourself as much as you show up for others. What would change in your life if you truly believed that?

Think about it—and next time you’re tempted to skip that moment of self-care, I want you to pause and ask yourself: How can I pour into others if I’m not poured into myself?

It’s not selfish, friend. It’s sacred.


Things to be on the lookout for with Fortitude Fitness:

  • New website coming soon!

  • A special 6 week more metabolic strength training workout cycle to get us through the holidays on the app.

  • A New Year's Challenge!

  • I love to hear your feedback about something you would like to see offered! Send me a message on socials or email me at 4titudefitness@gmail.com to let me know!

Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.


What people are saying on the app lately:

"Erin does an awesome job, love how she explains so well!"

"Glutes, glutes, glutes!!! I may not be able to sit for awhile

"I can't believe how hard workouts with a band are!! Love how these workouts are designed to build muscle with minimal equipment!

This could be you! This is a community of people who have jobs, kids, and just as much going on as all of us, but with accountability, coaching and a plan they are finding a way to make it work! Join us!

Remember there is an all new HOME ONLY workout using just a chair, some dumbbells and bands. There are many programs out there that are quick, use minimal to no equipment, and seem "fun". Remember, to build actual age-busting muscle you need to be training with resistance, smart programming, and progressive overload!

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This cycle we are doing a full body split and focusing on challenging muscles in the shortened positions. 

Muscle on the body is like the fountain of youth. Not only does it make you functionally stronger and burn fat at rest, it will keep you strong as you age to help you be free from injuries, illnesses and diseases. Let's fight aging together with good training and accountability!


Get ready to embark on an exhilarating, healthier you!


Things I've been loving lately...

Mexi Protein Burrito

Whipping up a batch of protein burritos is a great meal prep hack, but it's always fun to mix up the ingredients to add some flavor!

Cook:

  • 1 egg per burrito

  • 1/2 cup egg whites per burrito

  • some frozen potato/pepper/onion mix (I do Great Value blend)

  • 1 oz. cooked turkey sausage

You can assemble these by layering and wrapping on a Ole Tortilla, Mission low carb tortilla, or tortilla of choice

Freeze or refrigerate

When you're ready to eat, heat it up, top with some guacamole (I love the individual cups to keep it fresh), and some Kinder's green taco sauce or other favorite sauce.
So Yummy and could be mixed and matched to fit the macros that you need! Toppings are optional and endless! My motto is if it's not messy and spilling out everywhere it's not good!

Want more awesome macro friendly recipes? Follow link below to subscribe to my favorite meal planning recipe service!

G2G Bars

I am super picky about processed protein powders and bars because my digestive system does not like certain fillers, and so many bars taste waxy and fake. These are about the only bar I will eat! While they are pretty high in calories, it is from all real ingredients and you get a big punch of protein. I will often eat 1/2 as a serving for me, but we take these out of town and it serves as my breakfast many times. The taste is delicious! My favorite is the almond oatmeal cookie, with the peanut butter chocolate chip coming in as a close second. 

It's apple season!

If you're not enjoying eating fruit by its season, you are missing out! It is apple season right now and the varieties and flavors that are available is amazing! My husband and I set off to taste test all of the different varieties we could find locally to find the best one, and we did! The rave apples that we found at Sprouts are THE BEST! Perfect amount of crunch, sweet and tartness! Let me know if you try them and what your favorite apple is! 

Speaking of apple, I found another yummy electrolyte powder that I'm liking lately! This green apple one helps me with recovery, and no muscle cramping. So fun to have a yummy healthy drink when you want something different than water! 


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Why Taking Care of Your Body Might Be the Key to Unlocking Your Best Life

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Get Unstuck: We are Designed for Motion!